Today I woke up all EMO nshit, well actually that mess started long before but whatever. I decided I will pick my theme song for the day and of course, rock came through for me. Been listening to Limp Bizkit’s ‘Boiler’ on loop and one of the many lines kicking my ass is ‘What’s done is done, you just leave it alone and don’t regret it’…pretty straightforward, innit???
Oh, I am going through one of those ‘fuck it’ phases, and the only record of phases in my life it has beaten is the ‘i wish i was born a boy’ phase. We all do, say, think and heck knows what else a bunch of things that WILL bite us in the eternal eclipse zone of our anatomy. Right now I am riding on the SS Enterprise of ‘shits’ and odds are I probably won’t get off without a few bruises especially to my ego.
In this year alone, I have and will have to answer questions, queries and WTF’s from family, friends and mortal frenemies. The first round with a ‘Frenemy’ caught me a little off guard but you know what? I am now armed *metaphorically, don’t send NCIC my way!* and ready to take said being on…and because what’s done is done, I choose to not regret my actions…I choose to ride this out till the gauge hits ‘E’…I choose to sieve out the BS and I choose to plead the fifth wherever I feel its necessary.
My actions have and will affect dozens of lives and you know what? I choose to leave it alone…In this lifetime I swore to only be answerable to the parentals and God…everyone else is on a permanent ‘need to know’ basis. If I don’t feel like explaining shit to you, then guess what? You are free to build a town full of speculations, rumors and fast conclusions in your head and rule it!
Of all my mistakes and fuck-ups, this will be the most beautiful, most epic and most kickass of them all…would I change a thing? Mostly not…However, I refuse to let anyone treat my mistake like the plague, I refuse to let people with zero rated interest in my life milk this for all the drama it comes with and most importantly, those that don’t want to get on board can just abandon ship and swim the F away!!!
In this life, you must choose who you are answerable to…you must choose who is worth the fight…heck, you must choose a worthy opponent to fight (no need to waste your energy on non-factors)…you must embrace your mistakes, rehabilitate them and keep it moving…most importantly, don’t regret it….A life without mistakes is as good as watching the Paint Drying Channel – A flipping bore!!!!