Internal Rant Convention Findings

Ok, the internal rant convention happened in one hell of a dome….mine!I just have things that are running all over the place up there. It doesn’t come out in continous prose (in fact i would have a doc check me out if it did). I’m just an old gal with points to ponder and whatnot…

To begin with, do men attend some kind of Ivy League institution just to lie to us? I mean, do they do it to make us happy? do they do it coz its what we wanna hear?or are they just allergic to the truth. Yes, my ass does look fat in these and yes, she is not as pretty as I am (we know!) but si there has to be a point where y’all need to just, I don’t know, STOP? Don’t get me wrong, we of the female species do know how to lie (case and point, we were given the ultimate gift of faking the elusive orgasm….tee hee) but surely you guys go overboard. But you know what keeps the gals hanging out in your yards? You must be doing something hell-a right behind those bedroom walls…just sayin’…

Another lesson the Knights of Waajiku’s not-so-round-or-mentally-sound Table think about alot is women who think they are more superior than others. I did make a somewhat playful comment not too long ago to a  colleague that there’s 2 breeds of chic….there’s the prim and proper, always in some’-inch heels and always get drinks bought for them by strangers at bars….and then there’s the rest of us who have to actually use our brains in addition to our sneakers to get a guy to remotely notice our general presence, who take little or no time to look in the mirror other than the occasional ‘do I have something in my teeth?’ guard of inspection. I have taken my place in this here circle of bitch and embraced it but do ‘the others’ (its what i call them, he he) have to keep rubbing it in our faces?I don’t think so. Do I plan on going in for that upgrade?mmm,nah.I’m good right here…

What else did ‘we’ talk about?Oh yeah..-is it soooo bad if the movies did come to life? The movie I wish could come true for me would be…hmm….I’m lost between Hangover and Eat Pray Love. For now, lemme take the scenic big screen route of Eat Pray Love. Now don;t get me wrong, I am NOT a fan of chic flicks, but this movie teaches us to take risks. Ok, the risks in this movie were expensive (plus I haven’t accumulated that many frequent flyer miles to pull off this round the world trip). I want to be able to take the bulls by the horns…I want to be unafraid of falling in love…I want to be able to walk around in a shuka(although this one is open to discussion if I end up in the North Pole)…I certainly want to learn how to do the Dougie…y’know, cool stuff. I guess I just need to stop being so uptight and this is where Hangover suddenly springs to life…sip sip everyone! 🙂

Finally, Kenya impresses the hell out of all of us up here. To begin with, our uptight gava is giving potential CJ Mutunga a tough time and all because he wears a stud!Not heels, not assless chaps…A STUD! I say, as long as he doesn’t put juju on us with that stud, I say, ‘play on playa’. I also think that the homophobia that our gava suffers from is kinda ticklish…If Mutunga made a ruling while being given head by Bruno, I say why not????As long as he doesn’t accidentally sell our country to Gadaffi, I’m cool with all of that. Oh, and Uhuru, stop fucking with the national wallet…I dont care what the ATM slip said, you just had better not punk us the Kenyans with their mulla!!!I’m out! 🙂

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