Soooooo apparently we of the femme species were born to do a couple of things in standard mode; reproduce, mother, bother, whine, bitch, then die! Now somewhere along the way, I must have fallen off way too many trees and ran into too many walls that I think my urge to reproduce and want to mother as I get older kinda fell out of my life pocket. You know come to think of it, the signs were evident from those days of me being of single digit age.
True Story: I did place my sister on the floor the day she was brought home from the hospital. Why? She was in my f*ing cot and I wasn’t planning on moving to the room next door yet. Its not my fault that in her quest to be cute, she goo-goo ga-ga’d herself mpaka under the cot. All this time, i had gotten into the cot and fallen asleep. Hey, kindergarten was tiring, all 6 hours of it. And I was whooped six ways till 2012 but I didnt care!
As I grew up, kids who are meant to tug at my heartstrings and get me to produce that creepy ‘awwww’ sound got to me. I mean I may have been the only person in the world who was capable of seeing an ugly baby (coz apparently all babies are cute). That hate moved on to a new feeling; fear.
I felt around kids like I did around dogs – like they can smell fear. That is when they want you to lift them, they pick that moment to take a crap or blow chunks on your sweater and just want to play or follow you around. So clarification, hated kids when I was still a kid myself, but now I’m deathly afraid of them. Scientific studies have shown that any spawn of Waajiku will need to be kept in a lab for close supervision to see if he/she will self-combust, grow wings or worse, become just like me!
I will not lie that I enjoy my party time, my hangout time and my alone time. It is said that regardless of your feelings towards kids, you instantly gain that motherly instinct once you are a mother and the urge to party or be a bad girl kind of goes away. However, i do know of a couple who have hired nannies, will party all days of the week and have no problem being away from their kids (I’m not saying they are bad people, its just that they broke the mould of what I thought changes when one becomes a mummy).
I wonder which one of the above I will be…..the wild one who settles down as soon as the labor pains cease or the one who will probably be at the club when my water breaks and then back at the same club once I drop off my child at home. There are a couple of kids I have met who are a dream to be around, mpaka we are pals, but those a a thorough exception….All the same, someone share with me those pills or hypnosis methods used to garner a heart to love and constantly want to cuddle other peoples babies so I can do the same for my own spawn. Muchas gracias!