Jar of Broken Hearts

Before any o’ you’s asks, ‘waajiku,when did you suddenly garner playing skills?’ lemme first start by saying, I damn sure ain’t talking about me. Just still reeling from the passing of Miss Diva Liz Taylor (God Rest Her Soul). And all the stories I’m reading about her are talking about her Traditional African Man stance of marrying left right and centre….it was like 7 times huh?So I was juuuuust wondering, could we call her a heartbreaker or a woman that had way too much love to go around?Either way, kudos to a mama!

That aside, I was just wondering about gals and boys(big gals and boys, go to bed kiddo!) who go around hooking up and breaking up like a bad quality bra strap. You guys go about picking on mostly unsuspecting suckers who think that ‘you are the apple of my eye’ was definitely a line based on their true story until one day,bam!You are dumped faster than old diapers!There are a few that always get the ‘evaluation report’ from the aforesaid dumper giving them reasons why it didn’t work. However, a great number are left hanging wondering ‘what the fudge happened?and why didn’t I get the memo?’

Nowadays, you will find a great number of peeps (myself included) that will shrug it off once left hanging, citing that it might be our faults….that maybe we didn’t love enough or loved too much. But I can tell you that anyone telling you this is full of horse or ape crap!Why?When you are done hanging out with your girls or boyz who feed your ego telling you ‘ah,leave that one!he/she wasnt worth it!’,and you end up all alone with your thoughts, a few things tend to take place. All those emotions burst out and manifest themselves in tears, wall punching, drunk dials and texts as well as threats of slashing tyres. You will also want to know where it all went wrong and if it can be fixed. meanwhile, this other bugger is on to the next one or won’t even bother to answer your texts. A new breed of psycho i met believed that those ‘send to all’ New Years texts and any accidental email forwards are a sign that you definitely want them back. This here bastard decides to send me an email telling me that there is no way we can ever get back together and that his new mamacita is very insecure about me.First off, someone insecure about me?awesoooooome! 2nd, it was a f*cking New Years text sent to you and a couple of hundred other names in my phonebook. Get over yourself you pompous freak!

I also wonder about people that go about bragging and doing a tally of ‘in-between legs’ vacations they have taken, how many chics from his/her department they have bagged and they never shut up about it. Heck, they have faithful sidekicks (read jerky pals) who will insistently ‘hi-five’ these fools telling them what an awesome job they are doing….how Jimmy Gathu has pitad katikati ya these suckers I will never understand….but one thing’s for sure, what goes around comes damn around…..you may not have someone break your heart in a like manner, but you could roll a few times in a tuktuk, get a wedgie from a curious giraffe at National Park, have a car breakdown somewhere along a Kenyan road with more trees than buildings….y’know,that kind of Karma. Will I ever attempt to be a collector of broken hearts?Tempting but I doubt it, too much work having to remember all those men’s (and a couple of females’…kidding) names and my phone only has so much memory capacity……


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