Previously on A Year in Waajiku’s Life…

2010 has been one of those years where ish was flying past my ear another style mpaka the confusion got to me (more than usual)….Fuck the political part of it, coz to me, Alfred Mutua (with his no Monday holiday bullcrap that a grand majority ignored) and any other sagging douchebag that had a hand in the alcohol bill are dead to me. Like on Chrissy Eve, I walk into Nakumatt Lifestyle knowing that I have my ID in check (like the triple D’s on my chest and my sense of fashion doesnt give away the fact that im 18+) and that I would get a bottie of some’-some’….only to get there and they are putting up a barricade making the place look like a British crime scene. We ask and they go like ‘we cant sell liquor after 8.30pm…..I had to use my female charm that only oozes in minute rations at a hotel across the road to get me a bottie that one of the employees had stashed away (and no flashing or ‘job’ of any kind was put on the table). What’s worse, you gotta wait for some spots that we were used to entering as early as 11am to be opened at sijui 5pm….SCREW YOU MPanyas!!!!!

Past that, I learnt a lot about matters of the heart. To begin with, love is freaking overrated. I watched people who I knew would be the S.I unit of what long lasting relationships look like break up in the creepiest of styles. My faith in the damn 4-letter word was insanely shaken and it was almost strengthened again by another 4-letter word (which isnt as pretty as the other one, but whatever)….I had seeeriously started thinking about entering one of those ‘F* Buddy deals’ but I have to talk to these people in the morning and that is definitely a convo that will take a sharp left turn into a dead end or cliff. I also learned the toughness involved in moving on. My limited brain power and uber-regular liquor appreciation society meetings deem me unfit to deal with raw emotions but it had to be done. Something else I also picked up was just how strong friendship can be, which is not necessarily a good thing. This is coz its strong enuff to make you strong, but it is also strong enough to bowl you over and makes it hard to get up. I have truly learnt who my friends are (some were definitely unlikely, but they haven’t tried to poison my liquor yet so that’s good) and I have also learnt something new about friends: there are situations that you may assume they have your back, but their allegiance may actually be with the other party depending on the situation. Case and point, you may like a dude but there is pending ex drama and one of your close peeps may actually be good friends with the aforesaid ex….I know it sounds like a bad soapie (and with that, I think the creators of these shows need therapy coz damn!too much drama for an alien-unprobed human to take).

My year has not been without its downs. The biggest one, no doubt, was the passing of my boy Vic Juma, the ultimate Chelsea fan (yes, I have asked him to meet with the soccer powers that be to send positive vibes in Chelsea’s direction…guess the application is taking longer than we thought). A fella that knew what he wanted and it was a shame that he was stopped in his tracks by this thing called Life. I saw another power of a clean human spirit that brought sooooo many people together during the mourning period. This made me (and a lot others) to wonder what legacy we will leave behind when our time comes…what would I want to be remembered most for? I want in 2011, ok maybe 2012, to stop people from nicknaming me Mama Pima coz of my prowess in flirting with a tequila bottle. I want to actually have people saying corny Hallmark-card things about me in my euology for sure….

Cliche time: My perfect nite out award was taken by the entire Eastlands division. Those suckaz sure know how to party like rockstars on a kickass budget….My top series this year, I’m sorry, was taken by Glee. Those eversmiling bunch of freaks made me like songs that I would have to have snorted mass amounts of Omo to listen to. The storyline is hilarious and the Sue Sylvester / Brittany characters restored my faith in witty humor….Top album (and yeah I am biased) is No Mercy by T.I, but it ties in with Adventures of Bobby Ray by B.o.B!now that was some kickass music right there…..Local artist I’m backing this year is a tie between Eckodyda and Daddy Owen (the mainstream artists kinda sucked ass for me this time round)…now those fellaz have talent!….Movies this year are a mix of  Scott Pilgrim, HP7 and Takers (again, biased) although for real 2010 sucked for movies….this segment of the blog was sponsored by the words ‘suck’ and ‘ass’!

What to look forward to in 2011? Simple… surprise me, 2011! Deuces, or as my pal loves to say, ‘Twices’.


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